jia chin have very high level of jealousy within him.
i envy -the way samuel lim can concentrate so well -cherp peng resourcefulness -ow jun ying innocence -yong khuang heck care-ness
and many other things. but no point following them.
when i throw it out, it is out, don't bother reviving it, i don't want it, see a need to it liao, just let it stay there, let it turn cold, to rot away, don't bother about it.
so.... killing a cockroach.... lets ponder about it. when you kill something, it is dead, it is no longer breathing, no longer functioning. so when kids kill ants, what does this shows? innocence? curiosity? playfulness? so before you kill an ant, do you bother to ask urself what are you doing?
NO! hell no. look at that small thing and wonder, maybe it should have stayed in its hive today, maybe it should had taken another path today, instead of climbing infront of me, and all these decision to get infront of u, had caused the ants own death.... so looking at it for one last time, you place ur finger on it, crushed it. killed it. so it is dead, end of story.
i'm not feeling this situation -all these things i hate / bullet for my valentine
Monday, September 22, 2008
1:51 AM
no point.
don't bother commenting on anything i post here. no point. my views will hardly change. so save ur saliva.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
7:24 AM
visitor
do anyone have a problem with how i view things? as i had said. it is not the very nice nice things.
HEED ME: IF THOU WOULDST DRESS THE DEAD AND PLAY AMONGST THEM, THOU SHALT JOIN THEIR RANKS.
if you do not understand this sentence.... you are not considered dumb, but ur thinking is very different from mine.
small fries. puny stuff. worthless.
what give one the rights to take away another life? -no one.
what makes a thing unique? - they are them , themselves.
as long it is me, my will, i will be myself. unless you could split me up mentally, reduce me to a set of imaginary number, then i admit that i lost. or else. shut the fuck up.
work on the worthless, play with the wortless trash, be one of them, then join them. be a piece of shit. you don't value yourself, you don't believe in yourself, so no point living.
the man, the dog and the monster. the man kill the monster. the monster kill the dogs the dogs simply follow orders.
so what are you? a man, a dog, or a monster?
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
2:54 AM
messenger
if you think about it. who would be the one that gets over it quicker..... me. i'm fine. operating as per normal. she is still using her messenger... pity her friend. k. i got one last present. last one and it is done for. my goal is to make her feel that i'm a person not worth anything. a hopeless, rude, spoiled brat. but this effect can be achieved, when there are some sacrifices. some ppl would have to get some nice insults.... esp her friends.... so that is the bad point of mutual friends.
it is just a switch back to the old way of doing things. myself and myself only.
ppl who are loved, know how to show love to other.... get that right. as much as i tried to make everything look good and nice... that's all i can give... i don't know a lot. as much as i know, i will show.
read zhi min blog. she got a link, back to her own blog. for what? then she is those who i considered to be a very insecured person. her fear is not being loved. hoho. i don't see myself getting it. the only part same is the stroll at the beach. the rest, no.
what i wanted, was really someone, who can last long. very long. and the sad thing is, you don't find many ppl capable of that at this age 15. unappreciative. so this time round, you learnt something called don't push your luck.
i will not drop dead, nor show my weaknesses [the serious type] to anyone. except one person. one person. that's all.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
6:33 PM
break up
okay. cherp said he helped out in another few break up. -one is the guy purposely touched the girl ass -third party
regarding touching ass.... this tells that the guy wanted to be more close..... do more things.... but !!! no respect for the girl.... seriously no respect... in this sense why are you staying with her then... it is indirectly treating her as an sex object... no point mah.... respect her lah... do not do things without her permission. things meaning about incidents that will greatly affect her. consideration...
so in this kind of situation.. it is better to ask... asked if you had reached the stage where she will allow you to do such things to her... to me.... this include holding hands.... no following the cinema... walk walk, hand touched each other, then hold... a bit the nice lah.... but to me... the respect is lacking.... ppl won't have a respect for prositute cuz they treated themselves losely... so treating someone with respect means you don't treat them "losely" they are not anyone placed there to be 'touched'
this include night scene.... the most common and sensible excuse is "i'm tired" so before you ask for it.... lets just ask 'are you tired today" then if it is a no, then continue one lah.... the news have so many articles of ppl fist fighting becuz of the wrong approach. good grief
third party leh.... it is mostly about one party not having faith in the other. there is something called jealousy... guys have a large amount of jealousy.... this is my girl... and i'm not sharing... so when the girl have FRIENDS who are guys..... showing a little care, like talking to them, can make the guy insanely jealous..... hey, i'm not receiving the attention... then, if u pinpoint out the matter, what would happen? the girl may feel hurt as the guy did not trust her.... the guy felt that they are being cheated of. so how? keep quiet lor.... see how long you can stand it lah.
one relationship that can last long.... till the end... giving in to each other....
if u view urself as a robot... the there will be this Remote Control "RC" which most of the time, you keep it to yourself and you control ur own action.... then when in a relationship.... do you still keep the RC, give the other party some control, or total control... total control is nice.... but can you handle it? handle the negative part of a person? oh... tough luck....
if i ever have a remote control.... it would be those with the top with button, then a two flips. flip open the bottom part of the remote, then there will be more button.
the basic button: -talking -doing simple actions -logic
first flip: -attack -dominate
second flip: -serious situation -thinking / religion -total dominance
as much as i can say..... i like the other party to have the fun..... let them play lah... see how they do it... but then, certain things will not change.... when i think i need to step out to do it, the situation lost control.... hey give me back my RC.
ernest asked me this: "what is the thing you want ppl to say to you? 1. i want to be ur gf 2.u win a million dollars"
start with 2 first.... i'll say really? then asked for the cash... no terms and condition... and if everything is okay.... well, take the money..... free loader...
okay.. number 1. what i'll say: YOU ARE NUTS. and i am serious. apparently, you got fooled.... but then be kind lah... observation time... with a time span of six months.... why six months.... by the time it is over.... no matter how good ur acting is.... you would basically revealed everything. and then, if you still have the feeling after six months.... whoa.... you are pro...
regarding gender roles: so the guys are supose to be macho and stuff and the girls being lady like. lets see first, ppl, make up society, and society set this rules.... so if you are following it... it is okay... but don't hundred percent stick to it...
this is what i think about who should do "what":
-asking the other party out [ well mostly is the guys... but girls also can lah okay? ]
-holding hands and the rest [ ps the girls, drop hints lah.... we respect you... not touching you inappropriately ]
-propose [ this is where the guys put what they learnt in the cinema to the test ]
and after that leh... compromises....can liao lor..
Thursday, September 4, 2008
7:28 PM
all we are.
why i continue failing my lit:
OneRepublic - All We Are lyrics
I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong Black and white didn't fit you And all along, you were shaded with patience, your strokes of everything that I need just to make it
And I believe that I could tear you apart but it won't break anything that you are, you are We'll say our goodbyes you know it's better that way We won't break, we won't die It's just a moment of change All we are, all we are, is everything that's right All we need, all we need, our love is at a bind
I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would've fit I figured there's nothing to lose I need to get some perspective on these words before I write them down You're an island and my ship is running ground
I could tear your apart, but it won't break anything that we are, we are We'll say our goodbyes you know its better that way We won't break, we won't die It's just a moment of change All we are, all we are, is everything that's right All we need all we need, our love is at a bind
Every single day that I can breathe, you changed my philosophy I'm never gonna let you pass me by So don't say your goodbyes you know its better that way We won't break, we won't die It's just a moment of change [x2] All we are, all we are, is everything that's right All we need, all we need, our love is at a bind
so so part got prob... got few version of lyrics. some say: "We won't say our goodbyes you know it's better that way" then also: " All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi "
so my interpretation:
I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong -i expect you to be like this, but i was wrong
Black and white didn't fit you - you are more lively. what i expected was totally wrong, and it would not happen.
And all along, you were shaded with patience, your strokes of everything that I need just to make it - you were patient with me.... your little encouragement tide me through events
And I believe that I could tear you apart but it won't break anything that you are, you are - you will still be you, no change in much of your doing, character...
We'll say our goodbyes you know it's better that way We won't break, we won't die It's just a moment of change - u're tired, then stop. don't continue then. life carry on. ur character will still be the same. it's a change. but everything will be so common that ppl get used to it.
All we are, all we are, is everything that's right All we need, all we need, our love is at a bind /a lover alibi -everything is still right, doing the proper job. "bind" should mean constipated / need someone else help.
I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would've fit -could not live life the way you do. there is a difference.
I figured there's nothing to lose - would not try to follow the way you did
I need to get some perspective on these words before I write them down - common sense would help u understand it.
You're an island and my ship is running ground -once u attracted me, now no longer.
Every single day that I can breathe, you changed my philosophy I'm never gonna let you pass me by - ok, you have the ability to change my mind, ideas... i'm not going to completely ignore you.
So don't say your goodbyes you know its better that way - as much as it is now, it would still be nice if it was like the way it was before.
7:10 PM
lyrics
why i fail my lit.... can be seen by the way i interpret things:
OneRepublic - Apologize lyrics I'm hangin' on your rope, Got me ten feet off the ground. And I'm hearin' what you say, But I just can't make a sound. You tell me that you need me, Then you go and cut me down... But wait... You tell me that you're sorry, Didn't think I'd turn around... And say...
[Chorus] That it's too late to apologize. It's too late... I said it's too late to apologize. It's too late. Yeah!
I'd take another chance, Take a fall, take a shot for you. I need you like a heart needs a beat, But it's nothin' new. I loved you with a fire red, Now it's turnin' blue... And you say... Sorry, you're not the angel Heaven let me think was you... But I'm afraid...
[Chorus]
I'm holdin' on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground.
my interpretation:
I'm hangin' on your rope, Got me ten feet off the ground. - suicide by hanging. ur rope does this mean that one of the causes is you?
And I'm hearin' what you say, But I just can't make a sound. - dead not moving
You tell me that you need me, Then you go and cut me down... But wait... You tell me that you're sorry - release the body to the floor, but the "sorry" part seems not possible at times.
Didn't think I'd turn around... And say... - ok, haven't die yet.... in one imagination
[Chorus] -something happened, and apology is no use.
I'd take another chance, Take a fall, take a shot for you. I need you like a heart needs a beat, But it's nothin' new. -as per normal... u know it is ending, but who would be hurt more when the other party suggest a break? usually femine get it worst... they MAY feel better if they were the one who suggested it. the second line meaning is very simple, no need explanation.
I loved you with a fire red, Now it's turnin' blue... -ok, got two meaning for me. common one is that once there is, but it died down. no more. second one is: once it was wild, like the fire, but then it became stable, no longer that wild, but a stable one, that last a long time. sci: luminous flme and non luminous flame.
Sorry, you're not the angel Heaven let me think was you... But I'm afraid... -this line just take it as it is.
and the songs come back, to the starting scene. -I'm holdin' on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground.
7:10 PM
one republic
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
12:16 AM
wall e
so this wall e movie kinda made me think .... the part where everytime the wall e sees eva "hands" and want to hold it..... everytime want to, but didn't dare to....
hmmm. that seems like it is a form of respect.... kinda lots of respect one is giving to another person. not related by blood.
one wrong move and it is over.... all gone.... this is the sucky part.... so how are the male suppose to know when to make that move.... tough luck man.... only the female could drop hints that now this person has the authority to my hand... k... not authority... rephrase... access. access is the correct word.
in the movie meet dave, the mini humans have lost their characteristic.... became like a living computer.... using a mechanic mind, or analysisng a thing in a way like a computer explain a lot... like the time when the ship dave, sat with the pauper. "this man has nothing, and he offers to share his only source of warmth. why?"
why? do this, do that, react this way.... why do other do it this way?
i'm screwed
The lyrics from APOLOGIZE
by One Republic
The split personality
this is what you get in acting different roles
when you just stop to think about certain thing
to remove all thoughts to keep my mind clear
things i may do.
go on net and read certain stuff [clean stuff]
watch movies for hours
may write down how i view a certain song
C box
it would be dumb for me to but a c box here
ppl would comment on my thoughts
no point right?
so no c box for this blog
